Church service streaming during COVID pandemic can be tricky, and pastors are working a monumental amount of overtime to figure out how to connect their community of believers, while keeping the vulnerable safe.
But watching from home can be tricky as well.
Maybe you live in a state where in-person church has never shut-down. Or maybe, like me, your church still has some serious restrictions on what they are able to do. This post isn’t about the politics of all of that. It’s about what my experience has been as a mom, trying to figure out church during the pandemic with my church and my family. I want to share my struggle…because it has been one. And encourage you—This is hard. And you can do this! Pray for wisdom and the Holy Spirit will give it to you. It is especially important to be connected to a body of believers and be spiritually feeding yourself and your family during these times were community and communion are anemic.
March
There is a Stay-at-Home order for our state in place. This lasts for about 6-weeks. We start homeschooling full-time, as does the rest of the state.
Our church moves to filming and live streaming the video link. I’m excited to worship as a family, hunker down and support each other. I’m an extrovert desperate for fellowship. Homeschooling and working have taken every spare minute and ounce of energy. I am thankful for my church that is working so hard sending out worship services that are filmed on location in the Pastors’ homes.
I seriously prep for success for Sunday mornings. I get Bibles, the journals we use for note taking at church and art supplies ready. At our old church our children were in an incredible Godly Play program and used artistic responses as a means of worship or processing what they had learned. I have markers and watercolors at the ready to access this practice again.
But at 8 and 6, my kids are trying so hard, but they loneliness and frustration are winding them almost as tightly as…well I am becoming wound. (Or is that wounded; those two words look the same.) Our days are starting to be pocked with outbursts of frustration, anger, and sadness. We’re living in a fog of pandemic danger and isolation and we need the Word of God and some fellowship.
Nothing during COVID is simple…including our hopes and dreams for church time.
My son doesn’t want to do anything during the church service but roll around on the ground in a blanket. He knocks over the water for painting. My daughter, who is trying her best to participate, now has a soggy paper and a tear streaked face. She balls up her hands in to fists to hit her brother, and this is when I learn that Church at Home isn’t as simple as just hopping onto the Livestream on YouTube and singing along. But nothing during COVID is simple—including our hopes and expectations for church time.
Summer rolls around
There’s no longer a stay-at-home order in our state, but due to the state restrictions, our church is still video taping messages and live streaming them.
By the time summer comes around we make the kids go upstairs after the singing and the recorded 5 minute kid moment. And when I say MAKE, I mean our youngest often is not allowed to stay downstairs where we have church. Who would have thought I’d ever NOT ALLOW him to watch church. But this isn’t really church to him. This is a boring TV show where once in awhile he sees people he recognizes from real life. He’s also coming out of a stage of being angry in general over not being able to see his friends. And yes, as the mom, he sees it as mainly my fault.
From the screen to their soul–something is lost in the in-between.
And now I’ve finally realized it. The screen is the screen. And all the goodness, emotion, vitality of live church somehow drops off into the abyss as it leaves the screen and is making its way to my kiddos ears and eyes. This is not real church to them. From the screen to their soul—something is lost in the in-between.
Their behavior and their attention is much better in real live church. Though my daughter is able to understand some of what is going on and still takes notes, there are still good days and bad days. Days where she writes down all her questions about God and some of them have to do with the sermon. Other days were she pokes her brother with that very pencil and is angry sitting like a storm cloud on the couch; she’s raining while we try to worship. We’ve started instituting other practices at home now for family worship.
Finally Fall
The state restrictions continue. However, now we can go Sunday mornings and watch the live stream at church with other congregation members. We are masked, socially distanced, and taking temperatures.
My heart gave away my excitement, that I didn’t even know was beating there as we walked into church to be together with other believers. It had been almost 7 months since we last went to a service as a family. I wanted to hug the guy taking our temperature–But the COVID 10 commandment protocols wisely include no hugging.
I had a stack of kid books and a bag of M&M’s with me, a pro-tip recommended by a friend to bring with me for my kids to make it through the service. There would be no Sunday School mid-service. Previously, our kids would sometimes sit through a service with us. They can get wiggly, but they can also do it.
Again, I was hopeful. Would this finally be back to church for our kids? For us as a family? We sang with masks on to the recorded video. Our kids were more engaged. A bigger screen, a space they hadn’t been in for months, other people around them. But as the songs progressed on, my son’s attention wandered. Soon, he was under the table, wrestling with his shoes, mask on his chin (oh the mom judgement I was fearful of!), or trying to locate just where did I hide those M&Ms. (Which was not the best idea for my youngest.) My 8 year old daughter was quietly coloring and back to writing Bible verses in her own journal along with God questions she has. But for Apollo, this watch party was just that—Watching a bigger screen.
Talking afterwards with people outside while wearing masks, was fine. I thought I’d relish the opportunity. But honestly, I don’t know many people at church yet. And it is really hard for me to remember names and know who people are when everyone is wearing a mask. I felt nervous as people came up to me, trying to grasp a barely remembered name with the visual of eyes, forehead, hair while my son pulled on my arm to go home. Yet I was grateful to be together again as a church family. My husband loved it and was encouraged. And we’ll try it again…when they move the time back later than 8:30am.
Conclusion: I share the struggles of my family to encourage you that these are not simple times with church. The staff at my church is prayerful, hardworking, and creative in how it reaches its congregants. And still, it’s not working for all members of my family. I’m outgoing and painfully miss in-person interactions—since in all areas of my life, that has changed. My husband is in a different place. He’s not as outgoing, and his job (which has changed very little) provides him with what he needs for people engagement. (Probably way more than he needs, actually.)
Is what I’m doing right now actually harming my kids? Am I reinforcing a negative thought or feeling about church deep within him.
So as a family, we need to be prayerfully thinking about how to engage with Church at Home. I need to ask myself, “Is what we are doing right now actually harming my kids?” If I make my son sit still with threats and bribes, during a church watch party—Is that reinforcing a negative belief or feeling about church deep within him. (And frankly, do I need to save that mom energy for schooling?) Generally he doesn’t understand the message. He can’t read along yet with the songs. So what are we doing to foster and not harm his spiritual growth in this pandemic situation? Because, to be clear, a watch party is not church. A live stream is not church. These can be pieces of church in these times. But how is my family going to engage in the body of Christ and be a part of the body of Christ during these times? See this post for ideas on implementing your own “church at home”.
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