Untangling Christmas Expectations & My Best {funny} Christmas Tip

I’m working on changing Christmas. No, not the actual Christmas story (you’re hilarious), but our own family story around the holidays. Every year I’m trying to untangle my family from the tales of sugar plums and family-good-vibes dancing in our heads, and try and focus more on the waiting and anticipation of our Savior.

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In the gloriousness of my youth-i.e. before I had kids, I thought I would change up some holiday traditions. No presents! It would be just about Jesus. Don’t get me wrong, the holidays around my house growing-up were wonderful. My parents worked hard around the holidays to make sure family could come together. My Uncle, who didn’t have kids, would always get us the presents we wanted most on our list–The My Little Pretty Pony Stable. And that unicorn of all gifts–The Cabbage Patch Doll. And definitely Star Wars/G.I. Joes/Transformer related war toys for my brothers.

Christmas Eve would be a special night of faith and family goodness starting at my Grandparent’s church service then back to their house for presents and a kaleidoscope of cookies–fudge, divinity, thumbprints with a whole Hershey’s kiss in them. Christmas morning would be filled with a candy cane shaped baked good, reading the nativity story, opening gifts, and getting ready for family to arrive. It was a wondrous and merry time.

But over the years I think our culture has leveled up Christmas to more than just a leg lamp in the window and a Red Rider BB Gun. Kind of like how there used to be just regular supermarkets…and now there’s Costco. What average American family can eat that much mayonnaise before it expires? And if you have achieved that level of mastication, let me be clear, you are NOT an average American family. You’re above average .

Or let me offer another analogy…There was homegrown weed in the 70’s now you can get it laced with meth (so I’ve heard). Yes. I just related present day Christmas in our culture to weed laced with meth. You’re welcome. But too many people feel that much on the edge at some point in December. (I think it’s the cheap production of decorations and goods that makes it an overwhelming access to Pinterest “perfect” holidays. And I wonder if that production chain will change with Covid-19.)

Have you seen Christmas specials lately? What do they say Christmas is about? One of my favorite shows Community (I know. It’s definitely not on the faith building shows for your kids list.) has a Christmas special every season. They even do a claymation episode. Creatively–It’s genius, but not so much theologically. At the end of the episode they finally come up with what the meaning of Christmas is–Being together, being friends who are like family even though they are dysfunctional and codependent.

It’s kind of confusing.

And it has to be when you have in the show a Jew, Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Jehovah’s Witness, and “None” all as main characters. (But seriously, this Christmas rap by Abed and Troy is very merry!) Pay attention at the end of the Christmas specials. What are they really saying? See how they are reimagining meaning out of a holiday that our society holds as a pinnacle of the year. Our culture is trying desperately to imbibe some type of meaning into this holiday to keep the consumerism train going.

Or maybe it’s not about consumerism and selling. Maybe it’s about that deep longing in the human soul to have meaning. Instagram fills it with rainbow charcuterie spreads on wooden raw edge cutting boards. A feast that will heal family and friends, bringing them together. Hollywood projects that space with fulfilled longing-A kiss from a lover, or a returned prodigal. And stores invariable want to match that soul hole with just the right product that will quench your need or emphasize who you truly are.

But it’s not just us people who are longing. The whole earth is in great expectation for more than a feast, a kiss, or even a revelation that is about us. Humanity needs something greater. Our flawed-beautiful-angry-hate-filled-generous-compassionate-selves need to not be worshipped and completed by other broken humans.

We need to worship.

We need to feel small and that God is glorious and large and we can be still and rest in His complete goodness and justice. This is the month to hold our breath in awe. To remember the divine image we are made in, and the divine baby we are so desperately in need of.

Glorious divinity born into humanity is why our very earth rejoices.

So how do I build the beauty of our Savior coming into the daily rhythms of our December lives? I think it’s pretty individual to every family. But here are some things our family is trying to do this season:

1. Sing Christmas songs as we put the kids to bed. We walk down the stairs singing Joy to the World, tucking them in with Away in the Manger. We hung Christmas lights in their rooms.
2. Light an Advent Candle at the dinner table every night. On Sundays, turn off all the lights in the house except for the candles and the Christmas lights. We talk about darkness and light and how we long for the true light of the world, Jesus.
3. Make a Jesse Tree together. A Jesse Tree is different than an Advent calendar. Instead of just having New Testament scriptures related to the birth of Christ, the Jesse Tree goes through both Old and New Testament scriptures pointing to the our need for a Saviour and the heralding of Christ. We read the scriptures that go along with ornament, and often sing a song, like Father Abraham, that relates to the reading. (My Pinterest board has tons of ideas on this.)
4. We watched the Chosen Nativity special. I had to hold myself back from ugly crying so I wouldn’t scare the kids…this show was that beautiful. My youngest didn’t understand what was always going on, but I think it was still a great experience to see what it might have been like to be at the birth of Christ.
5. Be outside. Connect to creation. I hope to have a campfire outside the week before Christmas. Be cold and then warm-up around the fire. Wonder about the shepherds under a night sky. About Mary wanting to meet her baby, like I wanted to meet mine. Talk about what we long for as people, as a family, as Christians and a nation.

And that’s pretty much it. You just can’t stuff too many things into a season and not lose…something.

But I will stuff my kids with the food they like on Christmas Eve. And one weekend we’ll binge watch the Home Alone series. The kids will watch the screen and my husband and I will watch their astonished faces at a kid getting away with so much. I’ll try and slow down. Do a Nativity puzzle. Play games. And of course do my new favorite holiday tradition–Which is my best Christmas tip ever-My husband now joyfully helps address the Christmas cards with this one tip:

1. Put the kids to bed.
2. Turn on Die Hard.
3. Drink Whiskey*
4. Address Christmas cards with your spouse.

I’d love to hear your favorite Christmas rituals that slows down the season for you, and helps to embed awe and anticipation in our daily rhythms. Drop me a line.

*Supporting a sober household? Try a Mexican hot chocolate for a special treat.)